Post Euthanasia - Grieving

Grieving is individual and unique to each person. You may not experience all the emotions associated with grieving – it is your journey, your story and your experience that is important, not what anyone else has or has not experienced. Many pet carers describe grieving as being on a rollercoaster of emotions – a journey full of peaks and troughs and highs and lows.  

Throughout a period of bereavement you may experience emotional and physical reactions to your loss; these may include fear, numbness, confusion, racing heart, headaches, weakened immune system leading to other health issues, fatigue and tiredness, insomnia, overwhelming sadness, isolation, frustration, anger, crying, depression, bargaining, yearning, longing and self-neglect. 

Our accredited counsellors will support you as you process and come to terms with your loss and that support will be there for as long as you need. 

There are different names given to grief; below are a few of the most common types of grief experienced by pet owners, all of which our accredited members appreciate and understand the impact on you.  

• Disenfranchised  
• Anticipatory 
• Normal  
• Complex or complicated 
• Prolonged  
• Cumulative 
• Traumatic  

Disenfranchised grief is focal in most cases when it comes to pet loss or bereavement. It is triggered and reinforced by how people respond to the news of a pet’s death or to how the pet carer feels in relation to the death of their pet – the sentiment that, ‘it’s only a dog’. It is described as grief that is not openly acknowledged, socially validated, or publicly mourned. Whilst the individual is experiencing a grief reaction, there is no social recognition that the person has a right to grieve or a claim for social sympathy or support. You may experience this from friends, family, work colleagues and acquaintances.  

Anticipatory grief, also known as the long goodbye, happens when we grieve for the future prior to a companion animal dying. It is usually experienced by those who have an elderly pet, those giving end-of-life palliative care, or when a vet has told a pet owner that their companion is terminally ill and the best option is for the animal to be euthanised. It can begin months, weeks or days before a pet dies or is euthanised. Anticipatory grief does not prevent grieving post the loss of your pet.  

Natural/normal grief – the act and experience of grief is natural and normal when responding to the loss of a companion animal. With natural grief, we understand the symptoms of grief and are able to accept them, knowing that they will pass. Symptoms are felt most acutely during the initial period of bereavement, but it is normal for bouts of grief to continue to occur within the year following the pet’s death and especially around anniversaries. 

Complex/complicated grief can be evident when one or more life-changing events have occurred in a pet carer’s life around the same time or even within the same year. This can affect those already suffering from unresolved, cumulative or traumatic grief or experiencing marriage difficulties or a marriage breakdown, redundancy, financial problems or existing medical conditions. The death of a companion animal may be ‘the straw that breaks the camel’s back’ – coupled with other life-changing events, it can mean too much stress makes it very difficult to process a loss.  

Prolonged grief is defined as when pet carers are still grieving deeply after a long period of time and may have become ‘stuck’ in an aspect of grief such as depression, guilt or anger. They often have a sense of disbelief about their loss, retaining intense longing for their pet and thinking of them constantly. Generally, most pet carers heal (if not completely) from their loss in a matter of months – for those with prolonged grief, however, additional and more specialised help may be required for them to begin to move forwards. When someone suffers from prolonged grief, they do not accept their loss or can be consumed with thoughts of their pet, often many years after the death. 

Prolonged grief is also known as Persistent Complex Bereavement Disorder and pet owners will probably require broader support by way of more conventional counselling.    

Cumulative grief, also known as grief overload, manifests itself when a pet owner experiences more than one loss within a short period of time which can include both pets and humans. Ideally, a person has a chance to heal from one loss before dealing with another. The complication here can be that pet carers can feel forced, psychologically, to compartmentalise their feelings for one of the losses while trying to process the other loss, or complete confusion can result as the losses all merge into one.  

Traumatic grief – when a pet dies in a sudden or unexpected manner, the pet owner can experience traumatic grief. Shock and traumatic grief tend to go hand in hand. This kind of grief can arise from, for example, a road traffic accident – all the more significant if the pet owner witnesses it.